New Tattoos

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I got two new tattoos in honor of my little brother, Dalton who passed away last week.  

The first is Scarecrow Jack from Nightmare Before Christmas.  I have always told myself that if something happened to my kid brother that I would get something from this movie because it's our favorite movie and it was released the year he was born; 1993. 

When Dalton lived with my Grandma Walton as a child it was the only thing that would calm him down enough to put him to sleep.  

The second tattoo is a symbol that Dalton drew on everything. It was his signature. It meant "Goldfire" which was he told me he wanted to be his rapper name and just another name he felt represented him.

If you look at it upright it definitely looks like a person. His best friend Megan said he once said "It means nothing and everything all at once.". That's my Dalton. I get it dude.

Thanks to Stefan Wuttke at Ink Works for taking the time to get me out away from the craziness of life for a little bit and giving me a proper memorial to an awesome dude, Dalton "Goldfire" Stout.  

What A Week It's Been

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Well there's been a lot happening this past week. It all happens so quick and you don't know what or how to think.

One moment you're in an airport, the next moment you're in a hospital room seeing your kid brother hooked up to a machine to keep his body breathing, the next moment you're meeting family you haven't seen since you were barely walking. 

It's been great to get back to Pennsylvania and Virginia. These worlds are just fragmented memories to me.

I've reconnected with family I haven't spoke to in probably 20 years.

I learned my Great Grandma on my Grandpa's side was 100% Swedish! Ironic because that's the only European country that I feel an urgency and see.

I've learned about the Thompson's. That's my Grandma's maiden name, and they seem to be where my mom's "wild hare" gene comes from. It's quite fascinating actually.

And that's just the start of it...

But now I need to get up off the couch and put some presentable clothes on. Aunt Mag is on her way over and we are going to pick up Dalton's ashes. I need to finish this coffee so I can talk real sentences. 

I miss you, Dalton. I really do. It's been good to head back to the East Coast. I can see why the forefathers were enchanted by these lands but I'm ready to return to my world in Cascadia. The land of giant trees, rivers, and mountains that damn near touch the sky. 

Here are some of the pictures from around my Pennsylvania and Virginia adventurings. 

​Dalton "Restless" Wright Stout: Nov 24, 1993 - Sept 18, 2013

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They say a picture is worth a thousand words and but I'm holding a handful of pictures and I'm still absolutely clueless of what I'm suppose to feel.

I'm truly at a loss for words. It's hard to imagine your greatest fear has actually became real.

 I want to say so much, but I can barely move my pen. I've come to type some words to acknowledge what has happened and I can barely believe what I'm doing.

You imagine that you'll act a certain way when what you know is inevitable will happen but you rarely ever do.

I knew this day would come somehow, but I believed it was just over thinking habit because that's what Libras do.

Dalton, I love you so fucking much man. You and Smoggie Catt are the only creatures that bring my eyes tears  

i'll see you in the next life. In an enchanted forest where we can be wild and free I hope.

 I hope you didn't hurt much. I promise I will see you again. I'm sorry I couldn't keep you safe, man. This world is full of crazy fucks. You're free to be a new man. I wish you better luck.

I'm headed to Virginia now. I'll hope you get some sleep now. You've waited long enough.

Goodnight my kid brother. Goodnight my friend.

I promise I'll see you in the next life. The stars will guide us both. 

  Dalton "Restless" Wright Stout: Nov 24, 1993 - Sept 18, 2003

dalton.jpg

It's A Cool, Grey Day

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Currently:

  • the skies are turning grey
  • the temperature is a comfortable 67 degrees
  • Smoggie Catt keeps running in the house covered in a light layer mist
  • my laundry is clean

Now I'm going to read a book and let Edward Scissorhands play in the background. Mostly because I don't have the attention span to just sit and watch the movie while it plays by itself.

And because nothing compliments a cool, grey day in my head like a good old fashioned Danny Elfman soundtrack. Nothing.

Portland; All I Want For My Birthday

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My birthday is October 20th.

All I want is

  • some people who can jam
  • a basement (or just anywhere music can be played loudly and uninterrupted)
  • a bottle of Jack Daniels
  • and a bunch of people who understand rock n' roll is a state of mind, not a drumbeat.

That's a serious inquiry. I miss music. I miss the act of entertaining. I miss the therapeutic escape of dancing to songs narrated with my own story.

So if that's your thing or know someone who'd be down or have a space where that can go down then hit me up.

That's just over a month away. We could have the party/house show on Saturday, the 19th and let it bleed into the 20th. 

Nothing too serious. Just whatever happens organically. We'll drink some drinks, smoke some smokes, and make some noise. 

I have no instruments. I've got a head full of words and come up with more all the time.  

Working on getting a tambourine. Tambourine! Yes! That sounds fun!

I just want to ramble words from my heartbox, semi drunkenly.  

Let's experiment, let's jam, let's see what happens. What do you say Portland? Anyone?

 

It's All Crazy. It's all False. It's All A Dream. It's Alright.

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Upon the first listen to mewithoutYou's "It's All Crazy. It's all False. It's All A Dream. It's Alright." album in a great while; I must confess appreciating it's tone a lot more so than ever before.

Aaron Weiss is so brilliant. They all are, but Aaron's brain and translation of the arts deserves more gratitude than it receives. 

STUFF!!!

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Today I bought stuff! I do like stuff! 

  • Incense 
  • candle
  • rugs
  • towels
  • sketch pad
  • book about the red fox

Today was a success. There were even a burrito, chips, and guacamole somewhere in the process. And a really yummy americano from Barista.

Oooh and lunch from my neighborhood New Seasons. A really yummy quinoa salad and juicy peach for dessert.

I didn't even drink coffee until 2:30pm. Talk about being in a fuzzy state of mind half the day. But I didn't actually wake up until 12pm. That definitely felt weird.

I don't like sleeping that late. Guess the body decided that's what it needed. Smoggie came in are moist from the rain and jumped on the bed. It was very cute.

What else? I found the book "Stinky Cheese Man and Other Fairly Stupid Tales" in a free book exchange thing on the walk to get coffee. Which in itself is an awesome find, but even cooler because I was just talking about it with a friend a few days earlier. 

Today was very good indeed. Now it's time to burn a little incense, candle, eat some leftover chips, and maybe do a little reading and writing!  

Lovecraft

Last night I went to Lovecraft, a horror themed bar on SE Grand, with my good friend Jackie Jones

We drank absinthe on fire, we drew with pens and highlighters under black lights, talked about the awesome peculiarities of life, and danced to good music. 

Thanks for the good night, Jackie Jones.  

Otherly, I'm really starting to miss having a cell phone. It's nights like last night I want to document virtually and cannot that make me respect the power of the smartphones. 

Pen Pals

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Hand written letters are a magical means of communication that we as a specie should not let die out because of electronic mail. Don't get me wrong; they both have their place but....

there's nothing quite like getting a letter in the mail, seeing that person's handwriting, their doodles, the fragmented stories they take time to share, that can only be appreciated if experienced first hand.

So if you are interested in undertaking such a venture with me then email me at: abcorduroy@gmail.com 

The only catch is you have to send the first letter to show me your serious about this endeavor. That and I also have a short attention span and more likely to reply if I get an intriguing piece of mail.   

Any takers?  

 

Table

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I moved that old table from the overgrown yard of junk out of the yard and cleaned it the best I could in the fading daylight. It was covered in rotting pears and dirt. 

Now I will have a place to sit and read or drink coffee or just be.

It needs a candle and probably a big umbrella to guard it from the rains that are sure to start any week now; but it's the start of another project to make this place ever more magical. 

 

Still No Phone

I went back to look for my phone today but I had no luck. It's $169 for a new phone so I'm going to continue to go phone-less for a little while. 

It's actually been kind of nice. I miss having the camera stuff of the phone mostly.

So a Facebook message or email is best ways to get a hold of me for now: 

abcorduroy@gmail.com